A Spitfire named Zippy...

Sorry for the late posting, folks. I really wanted to get creative and write a post by just quoting Haven words straight from the book. There were so many quotes throughout the book that cracked. Me. Up. Ends up, I'm not savvy enough to pull that kind of cool post together.

Let me share a few quotes that made me laugh out loud anyway. I can't count how many times Ian just gave me looks like I was crazy each time I'd have an outburst. And to my dismay, he didn't even want to know what the fuss was about... I did share the whole camping story though. How Zippy's dad would pack, repack and take the camper for a spin and check the lights again, etc. HILARIOUS!

The Quotes:

"If I could have gotten my nose close enough, I would have inhaled leaded gasoline until I was retarded."

"...but she had not truly known Chicken Love..."

"On the end-of-the-year report card all she was wrote was 'Is disruptive in class. Colors outside the lines. Talks out of turn.' When I showed it to my parents, they read it out loud to me, and my mom said, 'Good for you, sweetheart.' And my dad gave me a little pat on the back."

"Some people liked to go camping even if their daily lives already resembled camping."

"They're going to a convention." -- "Oh, a convention. Would that be for the Society of Drunken Philanderers?" -- "The SODP, we call it." -- "I see."

"Tiger had just tipped over sideways after chasing her own butt for ten minutes."

"It seemed that controlling her bladder was her one, overwhelming priority, because sometimes a little bit of pee would start to come out and she would look sad and shut it off and stand and stand and stand, and then a few minutes later a little bit more pee would come out..." -- "...which made me worried, because as I understood it, dogs did all their breathing through their tongues." -- "Jiggers, honey, why don't you just let all your pee out and then go lay down in the shade?" -- "I'd get under the porch if I were Jiggers. It's hotter than billy-be-doggone bangtree outside."

"...slicker than snot on a doorknob..."

"I had to tip over a little for laughing at the retarded gypsies, then straightened back up as I realized I was laughing at my own family."

"Plus you were born with a tail." -- "We had it removed so your pants would fit. Also we didn't want you to suffer in school."

"...nasty old bat."

"Well, she for sure knows you are not a Christian because you don't even go and pretend."

"...I'm going to turn you upside down and spit in your butt, are we clear?"

"...even though diamonds are girls, threes are boys." -- "Eights were completely girls, but the black eights were girls who were maybe a little too good at sports." -- "For good measure I put all the boys back in the box with the Joker, where they belonged."

"Mabel Simpkins told me today that the Jesus who died at Easter was the same one who was born at Christmas. Is that true?" -- "I just laughed at Mabel and told her she sure wasn't making a fool of me. I know Easter comes before Christmas."

"It was so pretty, I wanted to break it."

"...let me suggest some nice, fuzzy tights, the kind that don't go all the way to your crotch, but stop just in the middle of your thigh."

I also enjoyed the stories of Julie and how Zippy could read her mind and spoke for Julie... Even when she had to poop, Zippy asked the teacher if she could go.

I absolutely loved the Father's Day story where Zippy gets her dad a new dog from the hippies. It was so touching "it would have made a pirate weep."