Take two: 'The Shack' and 'Columbine'

I read two very different books in the past weeks, and both are excellent in their own way. I'll start with The Shack since it's freshest in my mind.
Author Wm. Paul Young tells the story of a man hurting from the loss of his youngest daughter from a violent murder. One day, God writes the man — Mack — a note inviting him to a shack in the Oregon wilderness. There, Mack enters in conversations with "human" representations of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
That being said, this is not a book I would have chosen to read. My friend Patti recommended it to me (rather, she matter-of-factly placed it in my hands) one day this week after I spent part of the afternoon crying in her living room. I was grieving the loss of a relationship and the love it offered; this loss swiftly opened the floodgates to reveal the pain I'd hidden from the lack of love in my childhood, the lack of self love, the fear I have of sharing my true self with others. I've cried a lot in these last two weeks.
What makes The Shack excellent has nothing to do with what I normally admire in books. Is the story well-written? It's so-so. Are the characters real to me? They're pretty cookie-cutter. Is the dialogue peppy? Not really. Is it laced with evangelical themes? You betcha. Nevertheless, I've got about a dozen blue Post-It notes to mark the places that address what I've been facing on a deep, emotional level recently: feeling lost, unloved, confused.
First off, author Young portrays the Trinity in an accessible, lovable way. In this book, God is "played" by a large black woman named Papa. Jesus wears jeans and work boots, and he jokes about his looks being influenced by his Jewish heritage. Apart from their looks, it's what they have to say that makes this book worthwhile to me. The conversations touch on self worth, relationships (a lot about relationships), forgiveness, guilt and shame, religion and emotion.
Early on, Mack admits to Jesus that he feels "so lost."
Jesus replied: "I know, Mack. But it's not true. I am with you and I'm not lost. I'm sorry it feels that way, but hear me clearly; you are not lost." For me, reading those words gave me relief.
At another point, Mack expresses his fear about what might happen: "Well, I am afraid of looking like an idiot. I am afraid that you are making fun of me ... I imagine that ..."
"Exactly," Jesus interrupted. "You imagine. Such a powerful ability, the imagination! That power alone makes you to like us. But without wisdom, imagination is a cruel taskmaster." Jesus goes on to talk about living in the present, and how God does not accompany us into our fears about the future. How often have I worried about what might happen? All too often.
"Papa" on guilt: "...it's not about feeling guilty. Guilt'll never help you find freedom in me. The best it can do is make you try harder to conform to some ethic on the outside. I'm about the inside." This speaks to me about choosing actions based on what you believe to be right for you, not on what others think.
Finally, a conversation about emotions provides this: "[Emotions] are neither bad nor good; they just exist. Here is something that will help you sort this out in your mind, Mackenzie. Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perceptions — what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your paradigms, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms — what you believe.... The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly."
This last one was especially important to me. I've recently come to realize one of my beliefs — one of my paradigms — is "I am not good enough." This distorts my perception of reality, and hence my emotional response. It probably has been playing a part in why my recent breakup has been so painful. The good news is I have been working to change that paradigm to "I am priceless, and I am loved." This book — along with some close friends — gives me faith that this is the case. I trust that I, too, will begin to see more clearly when this new belief becomes more of a reality than the old one.
So, should you run out and read The Shack? Not without a box of Kleenex.

I didn't mean to go on so much about The Shack but I do want to mention Dave Cullen's Columbine. A reporter who covered the story of the high school massacre, Cullen has spent years collecting information, police and FBI reports, interviews, and — most fascinating of all — the killers' own journals and recordings of their plans. I had a hard time putting this book down. Cullen clearly and concisely explains the massive amounts of information, so you don't get bogged down. The first part of the book walks the reader through that April afternoon in Colorado. The remaining pages attempt to answer Why. To learn more about Columbine, click here.